…In Other News.

So… you’re driving down the freeway, and you glance over at the median.  You’re doing it because you’re a skilled, safe driver and you’re scanning the roadway from side to side as you’ve been taught, checking the mirrors, watching cars ahead and behind you.  You see what looks like money scattered along the grass in the median.  There’s so much money there, in fact, it appears on first glance, that the money is growing in the median.  Yes, like weeds.  Do you:

A.  Stop the car, grab as much as you can haul in, and then haul ass.

B. Safely stop the car on the shoulder, grab as much as you can haul in, and then haul ass.

C.  Jam the car to the left, hop the curb on the median, park, grab as much as you can haul in, and then haul ass.

D.  Call the cops on your hands-free cell phone and tell them you saw a lot of money growing in the median.

Evidently, D is the correct response.  WTF.  Delaware, Ohio.  Route 23.  About 11 am, Monday, March 7th, the police got a call from a motorist who reported a lot of money was scattered in the median.  Reports say it took the police over an hour and a half to round it up and, although they won’t tell the actual amount, they’re saying it’s in the tens of thousands, five figures.

Downtown Delaware, Ohio. Quaint little place.

Now, they’re hoping that the owner of the money will claim it.  I’m trying not to laugh out loud here, but do any of you think the owner of the money is going to claim it from the police?  The Police Chief also said he thinks they got all the money, and for treasure hunters not to waste time searching the median out there on U.S. 23.  Think anybody’s wandering around out there on U.S. 23?  In case you are, it’s the area just north of the 42 split.

In order for me to maintain my faith in humanity, I have to believe that there were some people out there in the median doin’ a round-up of their own Monday morning.  I mean, how perfect a situation could this be?  They’ve even checked with the FBI, all the armored trucks, and bank couriers, and no one has lost any money.

Delaware, Ohio, City Hall. Yep, quaint little town.

“Oh, officer, that money belongs to me.  It’s my vacation cash.  It was on the roof rack in a suitcase that must have blown off my car.  Damn those bungee cords.  Yep, that looks like the money, all hundreds.”

Don’t you just feel like whappin’ the guy that called on the side of the head?  He was probably from out-of-town.  


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