Football Doesn’t Belong In A Hockey Rink

I thought I would be excited when my blog “views all time” reached 1,000,  but the momentous event passed over the weekend and I didn’t even notice.  The results are peppered with some spam, sure, some strange search results, and a few even stranger recommendations, but it broke the 1,000 barrier just the same.  I still find it exasperating that I can’t even get my friends and many of my family to subscribe to my blog.  Yeah, I hear you, maybe I should consider the fact that the writing isn’t all that interesting, or maybe they’re not really friends or not really “family”.  I’m going with the latter two.

In the last 24 hours I’ve been accused of being grumpy with little idea of how to have fun, and a few other things I can’t remember.  I can’t remember because I really didn’t listen, because I really didn’t care.  When you get my age, you stopped caring what people think a long time ago.  The grumpy part, maybe I am, the not knowing how to have fun?  Oh, I beg to differ.  I just haven’t had any in a while.

It was all because I didn’t really enjoy the inaugural game of the local arena football team.  Or more correctly, the “indoor” football team, because the other name “arena” is used by the REAL Arena Football League and has a copyright and a patent and Kurt Warner played in it.  As it turns out, our local team, the “Reno Barons”, couldn’t even get the league they joined to survive into the 2011 season.  We belong to the American Indoor Football Association West.  The AIFA West, which ceased operations for 2011 vowing to come back stronger in 2012.  So the Barons and other West teams ended up playing the season independent, outside of a league, which makes the outcome of their season, I guess, relatively meaningless.

As was the game itself, which ended up being against Tucson, when San Diego was on the schedule, and was the opposing team on my ticket.  Guess that kind of stuff happens when you’re not really in a league.  The San Diego team evidently missed setting up their bus connections so they couldn’t make it.  Really?  So Tucson eagerly got on a bus, I assume, and arrived in Reno early Sunday morning.  Just in time for the thrashing of their young team’s life.

The final score was a 67-8 groaner in favor of the Barons.  It would have been closer if the Tucson Trojans (something not right about that name….can’t put my finger on it.) could have snapped a ball from center.  I think the Trojans’ quarterback chased around loose balls behind the line of scrimmage eight out of every ten snaps.  It was a joke.  When the quarterback actually got the snap and was able to scramble for his life, he kept thinking the receiver’s ankles were their hands.  Except once.  The 6 point, 40-yard touchdown throw.  I don’t care who threw it, who caught it, who tackled him, who missed the coverage, who coached him, which cheerleader they’re dating.  I was  B  O  R  E  D!

And my guess is the 2,300 plus “fans” that were there for the Barons’ inaugural game, not knowing what to expect from a B, C, D, E, F or G league (whatever they are), of a national professional sport, aren’t going to pay $22 and up to watch them thrash somebody else that you won’t know they’re going to play until warm-ups.  Oh, and did I mention that the carpet had lumps in it that the players and the referees kept tripping over?  And did I mention that they played loud, incoherent, illogical music in between every play?   And did I mention that some of those in attendance made me feel like I was at a mud wrestling final?  And did I mention the kid behind me, kicking the back of my chair incessantly, was minutes from death before he left?  And did I mention that beer was $6.50 for a small cup?  Hotdogs were probably $15 but I didn’t bother to find out.

Here’s my grumpy and non-fun take on indoor football:  Football belongs outside, on a 100-yard field, not in a hockey rink.  I think the NFL needs to establish a minor league system, just like baseball, that allows professional players to develop in a system…not NFL Europe…so smaller markets can have a professional football team.   

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7 Comments

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7 responses to “Football Doesn’t Belong In A Hockey Rink

  1. Stephanie

    Well, for the record, I have subscribed to your blog and I read it daily. 🙂 1000+ hits is pretty impressive stuff…keep on keeping on you grumpy old man!

  2. Me

    OK… first off if I hurt your feelers, I truly apologize. But seriously, if I’ve called you grumpy once, I’ve done it a bazillion times. Maybe I over did it, but the bottom line is that I dig the hell out of you!
    Secondly, I totally agree with you on almost all the points you made about indoor football… Truly, it’s like high school football mixed with professional wrestling (or something like that). However, some of things you found annoying, I found amusing. We’re different in that respect which makes us both… well… “us”.
    Finally, I jumped on the bandwagon and subscribed… but just so you know, just because I wasn’t subscribed, didn’t mean I didn’t read your stories. Matter of fact, I believe we had this conversation… remember the time I told you how much I enjoy your writing and how impressed I am with it and how I love the quirky things you find to write about and how interesting this is to me?!?! And, by the way, I’ve told SEVERAL friends about your blog… don’t know if they jumped on it, but I talk about you and it’s not always bad 😉

    • Thanks for becoming a “real” friend and subscribing to my blog. I appreciate it. LOL None of the references were to you by the way, the whole story was just hung on the hook that I was grumpy, or that someone kept saying I was, because I didn’t like indoor football. Tell your friends they need to subscribe. What I have to say is important.

  3. Me

    Ummm… that was me saying it… but I wasn’t saying it because you didn’t like indoor football, you were grumpy (in your defense, probably because you were bored to tears and the because of the kid kicking your seat – I didn’t know about that by the way, you should have slapped his mother – ha ha).
    So, explain to me the difference for you whether or not someone is subscribed here? What’s the importance to you? I mean, you have over 1,000 hits so I’m assuming there are quite a few that happen to read it.

    • Well, “hits” doesn’t necessarily mean people read it. Just that they ended up on the blog. Sometimes that’s by searching a term that leads them to one of my stories. I want subscribers because that is how the blog would gain popularity. Of course, subscribing doesn’t actually mean that you will necessarily read it either, I guess.

  4. Me

    oops… can’t edit after I hit post 😦 I noticed I have an extra “the” in there – ha ha

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