One Tequila, Two Tequila

Cinco de Mayo.  Ah, another excuse to drink.  Another annual day to throw a party, go out on the town, play hooky from work, and in this case, an excuse to drink Tequila.

But what exactly are we celebrating?  We know it has to do with Mexico because there are a lot of Mexican flags being waved around.  People are wearing sombreros and swilling Dos Equis’, Corona’s and Tecate’s in numbers higher than usual.  You’ll find Mexican food specials everywhere.  But it’s not Mexican Independence Day like a lot of you think.  That date is September 16th.  Cinco de Mayo celebrates the Battle of Puebla, where a Mexican army defeated a French army double their size.  And they fought over a debt they owed to the French.  I’m assuming they didn’t have to pay up.  Reason to celebrate, I guess.

Cinco de Mayo isn’t celebrated that widely in Mexico though.  It’s kind of been adopted by the United States as a date of celebration.  Maybe because we all learned how to pronounce the fifth of May in Spanish and it sounds cool.  And it’s an excuse to drink Tequila.

Tequila [te’ kila], the Spanish pronunciation, is booze made from the blue agave plant and it’s found in an area surrounding the city of Tequila, which is where it’s gets the name.  Not some form of an abbreviation of “To Kill Ya,” which it can do in more ways than one.  Mexico claims the exclusive right to the word “tequila” and will sue you if you try to use it.  And they will only allow the production of tequila in the state of Jalisco in Mexico.

Have you ever eaten the worm at the bottom of a bottle of Tequila?  No you haven’t, Tequila doesn’t have a “worm,” only Mezcal has the worm.  And it’s not a worm, it’s the larvae of a moth that feeds on the agave plant.  They actually serve these as a delicacy in restaurants in Mexico too.  Personally, I can’t see myself eating the worm from a bottle of Mezcal or ordering it at a restaurant either, but it is not an aphrodisiac, doesn’t have a high level of alcohol in it, and doesn’t harm you in the least they say.  Who “they” are, is again in question. 

One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Four….
Five Tequila, Six Tequila, Seven Tequila, FLOOR.

I saw that on a T-shirt, I had to have, once.  It’s still in a drawer somewhere.  I see it on a lot of T-shirts on Cinco de Mayo.  The saying is attributed to George Carlin, but he hit the floor at four.  I can drink more shots of tequila than that.  I’ve got experience to prove it and probably a number of witnesses, that still have their faculties, to back it up.

Now that I’m older, I don’t need an excuse to drink.  I can drink anytime I want, so I won’t be celebrating The Battle of Puebla today.  You’all have fun, have a shot for me, and remember the day is all about the money, and fighting so you don’t have to pay it back.



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5 responses to “One Tequila, Two Tequila

  1. Shannon

    Would love to drink some Tequila today. Tequila =Yummm. I can still party like a rock star… but the recovery… ain’t what it used to be. I have to work tomorrow.

  2. Me

    Ha ha ha… Cinco De Mayo is definitely easier to pronounce that Dieciseis De Septiembre 🙂

  3. Me

    (((dammit, I meant “than” NOT “that”))) ugh

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