MVD Express…An Efficacious Experience

“MVD Express.”  The name itself implies that the wait will be short and the experience efficacious.  It also costs $26.79 plus tax for the adventure.  They make that clear up front, in the form of posters, big screen TVs and the first thing out of the mouth of the agents.  I didn’t care.  I was on a mission to lie and deceive.  Well, that’s a bit strong.  If you read my blog post, “I’m Not Writing A Blog Today” you know where this is going.  If not, take a few minutes to catch up.

I walked into the local “MVD Express” office at approximately 9:54.  I was out by 10:15.  My wait to see an agent, 30 seconds.  Their slogan is “Get In, Get Done, Get Going.”  Gotta love it.  “MVD Express” is a private company contracted with the State of New Mexico to process MVD paperwork.  Why, I wonder, can’t the government agency operate as efficiently?  Same process, same business transaction, same document requirements.  One thing that isn’t the same is the attitude of the agents.  None of this negative, “wish I was anywhere else but here talking to you, because I know you don’t have the right documents.”  Nope, Amanda was friendly, helpful and worked with me to get the necessary documents to prove residency.  I brought seven of them for the required two, just in case.

After a paper jam in the printer, that required help from an assistant manager, she gave me back my proof of residency documents and we were off to take the photo.  “I’m taking the photo in one, two, three,” she said.  Then she turned the monitor over to me and asked me if it was okay.  I looked like a criminal being booked for lying and deceiving the MVD, but I said it looked fine.  Men don’t care how those pictures look.  If they look like us, we’re good.

Passing the eye test next took about 10 seconds.  I simply had to read the letters in the top line on both sides.  Without struggle, I read them off.  “Perfect,” she said and we headed back to the counter.

She highlighted several fields on the two forms and asked me to complete them.  Name, address, have a current license, and so forth.  Then came the questions.

Do you suffer from…and there it was ‘diabetes’ and fifteen other ailments that included addiction to drugs…and something about alcohol.  No need to read them, I checked NO.  And I checked no to that question about ever having your license suspended and that one about ever being convicted of DUI or a felony.  Okay, the suspension had to do with a ticket I didn’t pay in New Mexico, which I finally did pay because they wouldn’t give me a license in Arizona.  It was a parking ticket.  I was never convicted of DUI or DWI or whatever they call it, but I was arrested (More fodder for future stories.).  And I have never been arrested or convicted of a felony, yet.

Amanda typed some more into the computer, then handed me my temporary license explaining that I would receive the new one in the mail in about two weeks.  The total bill for an 8-year license?  $77.78!!  WTF!  I had a choice between a 4-year or an 8-year, and I figured I could avoid any immediate future hassle over this “Medical Report” by paying for the longer term.

So, as I suspected, the only verification they do of this medical condition BS is my word, which obviously, in this instance, was not good.  I can actually see how some of these medical conditions can be a problem; dizzy spells, convulsions, epileptic fits, etc. , when operating a motor vehicle, but they shouldn’t rely on someone’s word.  They need to require a medical report for EVERYONE, along with all the other documents they require to get a driver’s license.  If not, then I guess it’s not such a problem.  You have to get a doctor’s release to do a lot of things, why not driving?

If you’re interested in the studies that have been done on diabetic patients and driving, here is a very thorough article:  “Diabetes and Driving” by the American Diabetes Association, that you can read.  Some interesting things I didn’t know, but the bottom line appears to be that there isn’t any strong evidence that diabetic drivers are any worse than the general driving public.  Surprise.  I would be more worried about those impaired drivers that had a few drinks at the bar before heading home, or a hit of marijuana to level them out.  And just so you know, I’m not feeling guilty about not telling the truth this time.  Let them figure it out.  Which causes me to pause because I don’t have the permanent license yet.  I should be glad I don’t have that big of a readership, yet, on “WTF…What The Fluffy.

By the way, the only state that will revoke your license for getting into an accident if you are a diabetic, is California.  Another shock.

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6 Comments

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6 responses to “MVD Express…An Efficacious Experience

  1. I wonder if that efficient contract agency reads blogs. If so, you’re busted, Buddy!

    Glad you made it out alive and in such record speed. The price was hefty, but everything is these days. So you’ll have the lay off the pop tarts, twinkies and happy hours for a few weeks… small price to pay, really. 😉

  2. What’s the connection between diabetes and driving? Do people on thyroid medication have to declare, too? I swear the government just makes up these ridiculous laws to look busy. On January 1st Illinois had 214 new laws go into effect — I have no idea what they are, but I bet they impose additional taxes and fines. Bozos.

    • Thyroid conditions are not on the list. Insulin diabetics, which I am not, could blackout at the wheel I guess. Kind of like epileptics. How many of them are on the road do you think? I’m not saying it’s really a bad idea for medical screening, but it’s got to be all or nothing. Can’t single me out over everybody else. And you’re probably right about those 214 new laws.

  3. Danny Amira

    I so used to look up to you…. I better go take a hit of pot to level me out

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