I’m Taking Friday Off Today…Or No.

I was going to write a blog today, but then my daughter showed up this morning wanting a cup of coffee.  She thought today was April 2nd, and how she missed April Fool’s Day, I can’t imagine.  But she thought she had a dentist appointment so didn’t go in to work this morning.  I’m not going to say whether she is at work now or not, because it’s not my place to say, so I won’t.  

So, I was having an enjoyable cup of coffee with her, and we started talking about the funny way we say some things in New Mexico.  It’s all the rage on “YouTube” right now, starting with “Sh*t we say” in wherever or whatever you want to search.  I’m pretty sure it all ties to the now famous ,”Shit My Dad Says,” which started as a Twitter account, led to a best-selling book and a short-lived TV series, “$#*! My Dad Says” which I liked but nobody else did, I guess.  For a long time I was mad at Justin Halpern because he became an overnight success tweeting things his 74-year old dad said to him, and hey, why didn’t I think of it?  Then again, maybe the rage goes back farther than that and I just discovered it.  That kind of thing happens to me a lot.

We do say some pretty funny things in New Mexico, though, and I had forgotten a lot of them since I’d been gone for twenty-some years.  For example, everything is called a coke, a Sprite, a Dr. Pepper, a Seven-Up, an orange soda, everything is a coke.  “Wanna coke?”

Most of these things really aggravate my daughter for some reason.  Like, “Shut the light,” “Let’s go to Sonics,” “How did you land-up here?” “Do you want to go get something to eat…or no.”  We’ve started to add that “or no” to almost every question we ask.  It’s just funny.  She especially hates “pellow” for pillow, “sangwich” for sandwich, and, let’s see, “hemburger” for hamburger, and “crayun” for crayon, “wall” for well.  I was cracking up.

You can find videos on “Sh*t people in Arizona say,” for example.  “It’s a DRY heat.”  “Is your landscaper legal?”  “Scottsdale?  More like snotsdale.” “Don’t piss off Sheriff Joe.” “We’re in America, speak English.”  “People can’t drive in this town.” – although I say that almost everywhere I am.

Sh*t southern girls say: “Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit.”  Always loved that one.  “Do you have Miller Lite on tap, because I’m on a diet.”

How about “Sh*t Redheads say,” “What anger problem?”  “Freckle check.”  I had a redheaded girlfriend once, so I related to these immediately.  I nicknamed her the “Psycho-B—- From Hell,” not right away, but it didn’t take long.  Anyway, that’s a story for another time.  “Can you still see them?”  “Were’s my sunscreen?”  Maybe she was just physco and had nothing to do with the red hair. 

Sh*t stoners say, ginger’s say, liberals say, college freshman don’t say, ASU students say, broke people say, boyfriends say, how about…”Sh*t Nobody Says?”  Well, it gets old fast.

I’m getting a little hungry so I think I’ll go make me a sangwich, or go get a hemburger and a coke at Sonics, maybe get some pellow-time after, or no. 



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9 responses to “I’m Taking Friday Off Today…Or No.

  1. Hilary

    Dad…I had two fillings today so that yeilded 6 shots!!! I did not go in today. HeLLO!!!¡

    • Just using some literary license, geeeez. Maybe you weren’t at my house for coffee, and I just needed a hook for the story. Maybe you’re not the right daughter. I have more than one.

      • your favorite niece

        I’m glad I’m not the only relative trying to keep your stories as truthful as possible. I do realize the are fiction although to those of us on the inside circle the often read as non-fiction.

      • Just so you know, 98% or more of my stories are true and factual. I take some literary license, but almost all of this stuff happened and pretty much just like I say it did.

  2. Maybe you should write a post on literary license and creative story-telling. I guess that’s the down-side of having family read your blog, eh?

    I thought it was funny, by the way… 😉

  3. For the record, I am your “other” daughter that lives near you anyway and I was at work on Friday, although not happily, but I was there none the less. I guess I did not help the cause…did I? And also for the record, I can vouch for the Psycho (which I think you may have misspelled in your blog…but who’s checking 🙂 Redheaded girlfriend…I lived with her and she was INSANE! You need to write a few stories about her I think and maybe the best part is she had an identical twin sister…Yikes! Anyways, thanks for the funny story and hope my “sister” is not too angry with me, but she may be I have a feeling 🙂

    • I’d write about the Psycho but now everyone thinks my stories are fiction and those stories are way to bazaar not to be true, right? I hope no one is mad about it.

  4. I think you should get a real job! Thats funny in itself right there….greetings from Reno, Nevaaaada.

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