A Charlie Dog With Tiger’s Blood

Say you own a hotdog stand.  It’s in Sherman Oaks, California.  You’re already mildly successful from your hard work and dedication.  Then a high-profile star creates their own hotdog, and Tweets about it.  Then they send a picture on Twitter of the new dog on your menu.  It creates a sensation, business triples and is still strong 30-days after the original Tweets.

This is mustard, not tiger's blood.

Now I ask you, does a “Charlie Dog With Tiger’s Blood” sound appetizing?  It doesn’t to me.  The Infield Hot Dog stand probably thinks it was the best business decision they ever made.  Rumors of investors, franchising…holy shit.  I’m really starting to get worried.

I saw a glimmer of hope for mankind when I read that Charlie’s one-man show didn’t go so well in Detroit.  He was literally booed off the stage and didn’t return.  I guess he didn’t take it all that hard though and vowed to completely re-write the show.  That took place overnight, mainly because he isn’t “writing” anything.  Chuck Lorre is the writer, not Charlie Sheen.  The new format, kind of a talk-show host interview setup, went considerably better last night in Chicago.  Or maybe that just says something about Detroit and Chicago.

I heard some “fans” in Detroit say things like, “Don’t waste your money.”  “Completely wasted two hours of my life.”  Well shit people, what did you expect?  How entertaining can a drug-addict (who isn’t on drugs, according to the drug addict himself), who thinks tiger’s blood courses through his veins, be for two hours?    What did you think, he was a stand-up comedian, or a song and dance man, or even mildly entertaining outside of a script that he can rarely remember?  I’ll bet it’s a lot funnier if you’re stoned though.

What is this fascination with bad-behavior movie/TV stars that keep us so captivated and willing to shell out $55-$77 (plus taxes, fees, etc.) for a ticket to “My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is not an Option” tour?  Geezuz, the title itself gives it away.  There are seats available in Cleveland tonight,  the tickets are a tough sell in Canada I hear, and I’m betting by the end of the run, he’ll be “playing” to a near empty house.  Not from lack of fan fascination, but for lack of the comedic talent needed to sustain a two-hour comedy show.

This is her mug shot from LA County Sheriff's Department.

The real point of my telling you about the hotdog stand, was the fact that  stars have the power to influence.  One of the ways they’re doing it, and profiting from it,  is Twitter.  Paris Hilton charges upwards of $10,000 to mention your hotdog stand (or anything else) on one of her Tweets.  I’m sure there are many other examples.  Charlie did it for free, probably because he thought his shows would sell out.  Maybe he should get Paris to tweet about how great is was to watch the “goddesses” kiss on stage last night.  WTF